Monday, January 21, 2013

Saying good bye

 There are moments when your life changes without notice and you are forever changed.  There are times when your life is going to change, you have the foresight, and you can plan for these changes.  Such has it been with the events in my life as of late.  My life has been forever changed.  I knew it was going to happen and as such took time to prepare for it.  But as I found last Wednesday, you can never fully prepare yourself for major changes in life.  


We got family pictures taken.  I was pleased with how they turned out and can't believe how grown up our family looks.


My son, Justin and I took several hikes together.  I will treasure those times for the rest of my life.  We talked and hiked and struggled and saw sights.  Golden times really.


He shared with me places that are special to him.



This old sheepherder's cabin at the top of a mountain. We saw a moose on that trip and several bald eagles.


 His dad and I took several hikes in the mountain behind our house at least once a week.
 



He took me to a couple of mines.  One hike in particular was extremely steep.  It was the hardest hike I have ever been on in my life.  It started to snow right as we got down.  We were lucky to go on that day because the snow hasn't stopped since then and we wouldn't have had another day to go.






These are the remains of the old hotel that used to be up by the mine at the turn of the 1900's.



I really dislike small dark places and so it was a miracle that I went in as far as we did.  I humored him though and we were in there for about 10 minutes.





And then last Wednesday we took him to the Missionary Training Center.  It was a very emotional day.  The car ride there was very quiet.  I kept thinking back to the day I brought him home from the hospital.  I thought about the days of him learning to talk and walk and him going to school.  He has grown into such a fine young man.  And so it is with very mixed emotions that I am proud of the man he has grown into.  I have wanted this for him his whole life.  It's what we do as parents. We raise them to be independent and successful.  And yet the sadness that I experienced as he walked away was so consuming.  I was not prepared for it.  



Running has provided me with a way to run off some of the anxiety.  Running alone has been good for me to think clearly and running with my closest friends has allowed me time to sort out my emotions and be able to express them.  How grateful I am for running and the sense of relief that it has brought to me.

Later this week:  a giveaway that you won't want to miss!

25 comments:

{lifeasa}RunningMom said...

Good byes are always so hard. You did great raising him!

Rachelle Wardle said...

Jen I love you! You are such an amazing Mother and it truly shows in the way you raise your children. I find it so incredibly neat that you devoted so much time to him before he left. What a very cool time for just you and him to bond together. Those memories will truly last a lifetime and you are absolutely correct that he has turned into a very fine young man. Best of luck to him and the many lives he will touch while out serving.

Penny said...

I know how you feel. Had those same feelings when my baby boy went off to college. Just take one day at a time and it does get a little easier. Loved all the pictures. You have a beautiful family.

Jamoosh said...

The one great thing about saying Goodbye, is saying Hello again. Reliving the memories and making new ones.

Kiley said...

I haven't had to say goodbye to my boys yet (that will happen in about 15 years) but I remember having to do that with my brothers when they left on their missions. It is hard and so emotional. I'm sure it's totally different as a parent and I really don't look forward to that day. Hang in there :)

Christy @ My Dirt Road Anthem: A Runner's Blog said...

Wow I can't believe how emotional I got reading this. So hard to imagine my son leaving home and so hard to believe he is almost 7. Hugs!

Korin Lopez said...

Jen,
My eyes are brimming with tears as I read your post. I was just talking with a sister at church who's son is leaving for Brazil this week. (Actually he will be in the Provo MTC for a little while) She was saying the same things that she spent his whole life preparing for this moment and now she feels like her heart will break. I love the pictures and thank you for sharing the wonderful memories that you have made. I hope it is the best two years ever!!

Monica said...

My baby is nine months old and it feels like time is flying by, it feels like he will be at the MTC tomorrow. Reading your post made me emotional for you, for me, and for anyone who has to say goodbye. Thank goodness for exercise to keep us calm. I hope your transition is as easy as possible.

Audrey said...

How proud you must be of Justin, and how wonderful that you made great memories before he left. He will make a wonderful missionary! And you will make a wonderful missionary's mom!

Life After Swimming said...

You seem to have done an amazing job raising your son, and I am sure he will make you proud in everything he does! I can't imagine how hard it must have been, but judging by your running, you are strong mentally and physically!

Michael said...

Jen, I have this little tear in my left eye as I reread your post. It's just in the corner, by the bridge of my nose. It won't roll down my cheek, it's a stubborn man-tear, it sits firmly, stoic. It will come out one day on a run, alone, as I reflect on your beautiful words of time passing. It will roll unexpectedly and perhaps others will follow. That shiver will run down my spine. You know the one, long and lingering and wonderfully life affirming. We runners experience the shiver when we pray as we run. It comes infrequently, but it comes, unexpectedly and heartfelt. It's sad, and beautiful. You be well my friend.. you raised your boy well, trust life to fine tune what you have so firmly established. Michael

Tasha @Healthy Diva said...

Jen you have such a beautiful family! You have raised a very fine young man too. I am sure that you are very proud of him and for everything that he has accomplished.

Cory Reese said...

Love this post. You must be proud. I can't imagine how difficult that would be.

Johann said...

This is really fantastic! You can be so very proud. Beautiful!

Coy Martinez said...

You're a great mom and it shows! You should be proud of that!

NY Wolve said...

Very touching and thanks for sharing. I only have younger ones (12 is oldest) so a few years before that moment, and I hope I have the same reactions.

Christie said...

That the last picture, it gave me chills. So special to have such a close bond to your children.

Jerilee E. said...

oh goodness, this just got me all teary! Such a special week for your family. My oldest is only 10 and the idea of sending him off is almost too much for me to handle.

Michelle Dragoo said...

love this! He will do great!

Doran & Jody said...

Oh I wish we would have known when he was speaking, we would have been there.

Good luck Elder! You will do great!

Kathee said...

Oh I love my sons! Good luck to you and your family and I hope you don't miss him too much. At least you know he's up to good!

Junebugpins said...

Beautifully written post....
I just said goodbye to my oldest son heading for Afghanistan...
Emotions come up so fast and out of the blue...we see the little boys they were..but oh so proud of the man they have become....
Your a Great Mom....Melissa

Mommy Run Fast said...

Oh, Jen, that must be such a hard parenting phase! What an amazing young man you have raised- you should be so proud!

Sara said...

Beautiful post and I love the pictures from your hikes. I would love to see that someday. I am sorry for sounding so dumb, but I do not know what a Missionary Training Center is, when will you be able to see your son again? I will be thinking of you and your family while he is away!

These Are The Days said...

We'll you just made me totally cry. No wonder all the yoga lately. Ummmm. Yeah, not sure how you did it....I pray my boys don't go! Your family pics are the best. Just look at that sweet pic for the next 2 years. I hope it flies by for you. :) Xo, Jess

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